


Blink Back To Let Me Know

by isthepartyover



Category: Glee RPF
Genre: CrissColfer Big Bang, M/M, Soulmate AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-02
Updated: 2014-02-02
Packaged: 2018-01-10 20:16:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,351
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1164030
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/isthepartyover/pseuds/isthepartyover
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Once you meet your soulmate, you’ll know."<br/>There aren’t any sort of marks tying you to your soulmate, you just know that it’s them when you see their face for the first time. Darren grew up waiting for the day he would meet his own soulmate, while Chris dreaded finding his. But then, Darren gets a role on Glee, and everything changes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Blink Back To Let Me Know

**Author's Note:**

> So, first a big thank you to Jacar, who drew the lovely art for this fic, Sarah Tardis for helping me edit this, and Sarah Blazer for cheering me on and getting me to sign up for the CCBB in the first place. I love you all <3

Darren grew up eagerly waiting for the day he would meet his soulmate.

He had always loved the stories all the adults he knew would tell about how they met theirs; that instant, magical-sounding spark that happened when you first saw that one person who you were meant to be with.

As he got older, he realized that it wasn’t always like a fairytale.

People don’t always fit together like they do in the stories. They fight, and some even doubt the fact that they’re soulmates, and sometimes they even get divorced, or leave each other, or cheat…everything horrible and awful that could happen in any relationship happened even to soulmates.

But Darren believed that it would always work out, eventually. It might take a long time, but in the end, soulmates would always find their way back to each other.

Because they were meant to be.

*

Chris had always hated the idea of having a soulmate, even when he was a little kid.

He didn’t like how it seemed like he would have no choice in the matter, that once he met whoever it was that he was ‘meant to be’ with would be it, he would be stuck with them for the rest of his life, no matter what.

And even as he grew up and learned that there were some soulmate relationships that didn’t work out as perfectly as most seemed to, he still dreaded that day when he would meet his own soulmate.

Maybe he’d be lucky enough to be one of those people who never met theirs.

*

Chris both loved and hated being on Glee.

On one hand, it was _absolutely amazing_. He loved everyone else in the cast and crew (they had all become a little family, and it made going to work early every day fun), and he was so astonished that the show was as popular as it was and how dedicated the fans were to both the show and everyone on it.

But at the same time, it was frightening. So many people suddenly expected so much from Chris, and it could get overwhelming at times. Fans and paparazzi came up to him everywhere, no matter what he was doing, grabbing at him and asking for photos, autographs, whatever. It was almost impossible to do pretty much anything like a normal person would.

But Chris supposed that all the good that came with the job was worth all the bad. And he was grateful for all the opportunities having the small amount of fame he did have presented him with.

It would be easier to get the things he wanted to do, at any rate. Maybe he could even turn that script he had hidden in his desk into a movie and actually write the book he had been collecting ideas for since he was five.

*

Darren had loved Glee from the day he heard about it from his agent.

He auditioned for Finn, a goofy-seeming football player who reluctantly joined the club and grew to love it. Darren loved the role, but unfortunately didn’t get the part.

He watched the first episode when it aired, despite the teasing from his roommates.

The show was…well, it was _revolutionary_. They weren’t afraid of doing things no other shows would do, showing some of the harsh realities of being a teacher and a student in high school while still staying funny and touching.

Darren fell in love with the characters almost immediately, wanting to know more about them than the little he did, especially…

Well, especially Kurt.

Darren found himself drawn to the character for some reason, wishing that he had gotten more time in the episode than he had. He brushed it off as nothing, just his usual curiosity about something he knew pretty much nothing about.

But then the show had come back, and he found himself waiting for the times Kurt would be onscreen, and loving every second that he was. Darren didn’t understand why he was so drawn to the character, but he just assumed it was like what usually happened when he watched a show, getting attached to characters easily.

And then his agent had called him about a new role opening up for season two of Glee.

The character was named Blaine, and he would be in a couple of episodes as a kind of ‘older gay mentor’ for Kurt.

Darren had jumped on it immediately, even going so far as to get a haircut for it, and surprisingly, he had actually gotten the part. Ryan Murphy himself had loved his audition, and had shown him around the set the first day he had come in to meet everyone and go over his first scenes with the other actors.

“And that is Mr. Chris Colfer, aka Kurt Hummel, who you’ll be working with.” Ryan said, gesturing across the room they were in. Darren looked over, his breath catching in his throat when he saw Chris, sitting at a table in the room, typing frantically on his laptop.

_Oh._

*

Chris was glad at first when Ryan told him that he and the other writers had created a sort of ‘older gay mentor’ for Kurt in season two.

It meant more storyline for him, less standing in the background, swaying and reacting to everyone else. It also meant new people to work with besides the normal cast (Chris loved them all, but working with the same people day in and day out could get tedious at times). So, he was thrilled about the new storyline, hoping the few episodes they had planned out with the new guy would go well enough that they’d turn it into something more.

The day Chris was going to meet Darren Criss (he was going to be working with Harry freakin’ Potter, Chris was _still_ freaking out) had actually started out fantastically. He had actually managed to get himself to bed at an acceptable hour the night before and gotten enough sleep, so by the time he was walking onto set with a can of Diet Coke (his third that morning) in hand, he was much, much more cheerful than he usually was at their obscenely early call time of 6:00 a.m.

Every scene they filmed that morning had gone well and unusually quickly, and soon enough, Chris was sitting in a chair waiting on Darren and Ryan, writing down something for the book he wanted to write, the words flowing easily.

“And that is Mr. Chris Colfer, aka Kurt Hummel, who you’ll be working with.” Chris heard Ryan say, snapping him out of the world he was creating.

He looked up to see if Darren was there along with Ryan, and his mind immediately blanked, save for one thought:

_Oh._

He then felt like he was going to throw up, panic rising as he stared across the room at Darren. Who was smiling brightly at him, looking like an excited, adorable little kid because _they were apparently soulmates fuck._

Chris was screwed.

So, so screwed.

*

Darren couldn’t believe it.

_Chris Colfer was his soulmate._

He had found his one-and-only, and it was _Chris Colfer_ , aka the guy who Darren had admired for years and years, whose character was the only reason Darren’s character existed on an insanely popular TV show _holy goddamn crap_.

How in the world had he gotten so lucky?

 _Oh_ , he suddenly realized, _I’m staring, aren’t I?_

Chris was giving him a funny look, something that looked like a cross between confused and concerned. Darren smiled at him-well, if he was being honest, it was more like he _beamed_ at Chris, feeling like his face was going to split with the force of it.

Darren saw Chris’s face pale before he jumped out of his chair and ran out of the room.

The smile was frozen on Darren’s face as Ryan said, “Ah-we’ll just send someone after him so we can start reading through the scenes. He must’ve felt sick or something, it’s no problem.”

“It’s fine.” Darren heard himself saying, his heart sinking in his chest.

*

 _Shit_. Chris thought, curled up in the relative safety of his trailer. _Shit._

He shouldn’t have run away like that. Nobody had known what had happened except for Darren, Chris could have just avoided speaking to him and bolted after the read-through, but no, he had just taken off, calling even more attention to the fact that he absolutely did _not_ want to be anywhere around Darren Criss.

He hated this. Hated that he had to have a soulmate in the first place; hated how Darren was now his new coworker; hated how hard he had worked to get to this point and how much more he had left to do, just to have this guy jump into his life and destroy nearly everything.

Okay, maybe he was being a little overdramatic with that last one.

But still, now he had to tell Darren that even though they were soulmates, he didn’t want to be with him because he was working on his career, something that he had struggled to get to for _years_ , and even in a couple years when he had finally done all he wanted to do, he still didn’t know if he would want to try to be with Darren because their whole relationship would be just because they were supposed to be ‘meant for each other’ and not because they were truly, honestly, in love.

In other word, he would have to shatter the poor guy’s heart.

God, this was going to suck.

There was a series of sharp knocks on the door, and Chris groaned to himself.

“Chris?”

Chris bit his lip and groaned one last time before getting up and walking to the door, following the aide that had been sent to get him all the way back to where everyone was gathered to watch them read through the small scene.

“There you are.” Ryan greeted him. “Did you suddenly feel sick?”

Darren was still standing next to him, a clearly fake smile lingering on his face.

“Uh-yeah.” Chris lied. “I ran back to my trailer to get something to help. I’m fine now.”

“Good. Then let’s get started.”

*

To Chris’s surprise (thinking about it later on, he shouldn’t have been surprised at all, they _were_ ‘soulmates’), he and Darren had fantastic chemistry.

It was much easier acting with him than it was with anyone else in the cast, making it feel more like they were two very good friends talking, and less like reading words off a page that other people had written for them. It was easier for Chris to slip into Kurt’s mindset, easier to figure out how to say the lines and in what ways.

It was actually kind of amazing.

And it terrified Chris.

He didn’t want that kind of instantaneous connection, he had never wanted it. It felt like it was too much already, pressuring him and making it hard for him to breathe.

He wanted to get out of there as fast as humanly possible.

Finally, _finally_ , they told them they could leave, and Chris headed for the way out, trying hard not to just sprint towards the door.

Which turned out to be a horrible mistake on his part because a mere three feet from the door, he was stopped by somebody tapping him on the shoulder.

And of course (the universe must _really_ hate him), it was Darren who had stopped him.

“Uh…hi.” Darren stammered, scratching the back of his neck. “Um. I…I just wanted to…I was wondering if…goddammit. Sorry. I just…I was wondering if we could go somewhere and talk? About…y’know…”

Almost everything in Chris was screaming at him to say no and book it out of there. But, as usual, the one part of his mind that disagreed was connected to his mouth.

“Okay.”

*

Darren took him to a small restaurant near the set, somehow managing to get them a small table in the mostly-empty back part of the restaurant seemingly just because he flashed the hostess a grin and said something that Chris couldn’t quite make out.

Watching Darren interact, first with some of the crew on their way off set and then with the hostess and the waitress at the restaurant, fascinated Chris, despite how much he wanted to run far, far away from what was going on.

There was no way someone could be that charming. Darren practically oozed it from every pore, grinning at everyone almost nonstop and generally being the nicest person who had ever walked the earth.

It was strange, really. Even though Chris had grown up in a small town full of fake-polite people attempting to be kind, the way Darren acted towards everyone they came across was so  much more than that. It seemed effortless, like that was just the way he _was_ , not some act he was putting on to make people like him (as it was in most cases of kindness, Chris had discovered a long, long time ago). When Darren held open first the car door and then the door of the restaurant for Chris with nothing more than a small smile, Chris didn’t know how to react, a quiet, whispered, “Thank you.” the only thing he could do.

Chris was still trying to figure out what Darren’s angle was with the way he acted when he realized that Darren was biting his lip, fidgeting in his seat.

“What did you want to talk about?” Chris asked, even though he felt like he already knew the answer.

“I just…wanted to know what happened earlier.” Darren said, pausing a moment before continuing, “I mean, you don’t have to go really in depth about whatever that was, not if you don’t want to, I just want to know why you looked at me like I was the devil before fleeing, and then seeming like you wanted to be as far away from me as you possibly could while we were reading the script.”

Chris almost laughed at Darren’s description. It wasn’t too far off from what had been going through Chris’s mind.

“I…I don’t want to hurt your feelings.” Chris started, biting his lip.

Darren frowned. “You’re not dying or anything completely awful like that, right?”

“I-What? No, nothing like that.” Chris spluttered.

“Then I’m definitely sure I can handle it.” Darren grinned.

Chris felt his heart drop into his stomach.

“I don’t want a soulmate.” he admitted, hating the way the easy smile fell off of Darren’s face.

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

It was silent between them for the longest time.

“I’m sorry.” Chris said, once the waitress had taken their orders and left.

“You don’t have to be.” Darren told him.

“But I am. I mean, I bet you’ve been waiting your whole life to meet your soulmate, and you got stuck with me.”

“Hey.” Darren’s hand was suddenly on top of Chris’s clasped ones on the table. “Nobody got ‘stuck’ with anyone here. I’m not gonna lie, I’m a little bummed you don’t want a soulmate, but I can live with it. We don’t have to do anything about this, okay? We’ll just be coworkers, or friends, or whatever. I can live. It’s not the end of the world if you don’t want to be with me.”

Chris couldn’t tear his eyes away from their hands on the table. “But-we’re _soulmates._ ”

“Yeah, but you can make your own decisions, you know?” Chris looked up at Darren’s face, confused, just to find that the easy grin was back. “I mean, just because whatever chemical in your body that told you I was your soulmate says so, you don’t have to do anything about it. It’s not life or death, right?”

Chris blinked, letting those words sink in, a warm feeling blossoming in his chest.

He hadn’t expected that, for his soulmate to understand that he didn’t want to be with him and be okay with it. Actually, he hadn’t expected any of this, not for his soulmate to pop up out of the blue as his coworker, not for it to be someone who's Harry Potter musical he had watched probably thousands of times, not for it to be this strange, kind enigma of a man…it was surreal, really, and if Chris didn’t know better, he would have thought that he was dreaming.

“I’d like for us to be at least friends, though.” Darren said, breaking Chris out of his reverie yet again.

Chris smiled.

“Yeah. Yeah, I’d like that, too.”

*

Darren was fucked.

From the moment Chris had run out of that room on set, he had known it.

For the first twenty-three years of his life, he had wished and waited for the day he would meet his soulmate, built it up in his head, anticipating it to be _exactly_ like it was in the stories he had always heard, one perfect moment that he would tell his grandkids and kids and friends about with his soulmate nearby, either joining in on telling the tale or rolling their eyes with a laugh at how sappy Darren was.

That was his first mistake, he realized much later on. The first of many that he would make.

Because that feeling in his chest the second the door shut behind Chris wasn’t the happy, perfect feeling everyone always described.

It was pure agony and heartbreak.

He kept it together through the whole read through, shoving it down underneath everything else in his mind and instead focusing on acting the best he could.

He realized again how completely screwed he was once he realized how little effort he needed to actually put into acting with Chris.

It was easy, the right inflections and the words themselves coming naturally to Darren, the clear chemistry between him and Chris clear as day. It was better and easier than any acting Darren had ever done, even better than anything he had done with his friends back in Michigan.

This time though, instead of the heartbreak rearing its ugly head once more, the only feeling Darren had was curiosity.

He was the kind of person that loved mysteries, and hated not knowing something, so naturally, he couldn’t just let the issue go.

That was his second mistake.

He could have just accepted the initial heartbreak, and stayed as far away from Chris Colfer as Chris clearly wanted him to be.  But he wanted to know why more than anything else, why Chris had really run off like that (food poisoning from lunch wouldn’t have kicked in that fast, he was sure of it), why whenever he looked up from his script at Darren, there would be a look in his eyes that seemed oddly enough like fear.

So once they said everyone could leave, Darren made his way over to Chris and asked if they could go out and talk, hope rising in his chest when Chris had said, “Okay.”

But then, at the restaurant (a little place that Joey had shown him his first week in LA), Chris had dropped a bomb, obliterating any hopeful feeling that Darren might have had.

 _He didn’t want a soulmate._ Never had, and it seemed to Darren like he never would. That’s why he had looked so distraught and ran off and it also was why he had seemed so scared and nervous during the read-through.

Darren was crushed, the image he had held for twenty-three whole years with some variation (when he was seven, he had pictured himself as a superhero) completely destroyed with the news.

But then he had looked up at Chris, who was staring at the table with a horrible mixture of sadness and frustration on his face, and Darren instantly felt the need to make it better, make Chris smile again any way he could.

So he had said it was okay, that he didn’t need to be with Darren if he didn’t want to, etcetra, etcetra, things that broke his heart even more to say, but was worth it in the end just for the small, hesitant smile that Chris gave him.

They agreed to be friends, and everything seemed okay, the two chatting easily about their shared interests (Darren didn’t believe at first that Chris was a fan of AVPM, but was quickly proven wrong with several quotes, references, and what might have turned into a full-fledged rendition of ‘Not Alone’ if the waitress hadn’t come by three seconds after Chris started singing quietly).

It was right after Darren had finally gotten home at midnight that he realized that he was completely screwed.

He had a crush on Chris Colfer, his soulmate, the one person he had ever met that didn’t want a soulmate.

Fuck.

*

It was a shock to everyone just how _popular_ Blaine became in such a short time.

It was only supposed to be a bit part, just a couple episodes as someone to be there for Kurt, but then his first episode aired.

It seemed to happen almost overnight, fans tweeting about the episode and the character, pleading for him to stick around, several blogs and other things ‘shipping’ Kurt and Blaine (they called it Klaine, to most of the cast and crew’s amusement).

 _Teenage Dream_ hitting one million in iTunes sales seemed to be the final selling point for most of the different writers and executives to keep Blaine (and subsequently Darren) as a more permanent character on the show.

Darren’s eyes nearly popped out of his head when they told him, shell-shocked until ten minutes later when the call ended and he was left grinning at the dark screen of his phone.

He texted Chris almost immediately, a knee-jerk reaction that he didn’t even realize he had done until the text had been sent.

_< -You’ll never believe what just happened_

To Darren’s surprise, Chris replied almost immediately (it usually took him several minutes, if not hours, to reply to a text).

_- >What?_

_< -I just got a call from Ryan. Turns out you’re not going to be able to get rid of me for quite a while :)_

_- >What?!?!_

_< -Blaine and I are apparently sticking around for a while!_

_- >Oh my god, congratulations!_

_- >Do you think that this means they’re going to give the fans (and Brian) what they’ve been wanting?_

Darren snorted at the mention of Brian’s live-tweeting of his first episode, his expression quickly falling as he tapped out a reply.

_< -Hopefully_

_- >Oh my god, shut up_

_- >You just want to make out with me_

_< -No, I just want it to happen for the fans_

_< -FOR THE FANS CHRIS_

_- >Dork. You’ve been on tumblr again, haven’t you?_

_< -…No_

_- >How can you stand that stuff?_

_< -It’s not all bad. The fans are pretty talented_

Chris didn’t reply for a while after that.

_- >Wanna come hang out here? I want your opinion on an idea I have_

Darren was out the door in an instant.

*

“So wait…you came up with this when you were _five_?” Darren asked, incredulous, looking at all the different papers scattered around Chris’s living room.

Chris felt his face grow hot.

“Well, some of it. As I got older, I kind of…expanded on the original ideas.”

“Dude, this is amazing.” Darren said, grinning. “You need to write this! I mean, Goldilocks as a criminal with swords? So fucking _cool_.”

“But-”

“But nothing. Just watch, once you get this thing written and out there, everyone’s going to _love_ it. And I’m almost never wrong.”

Chris snorted, shaking his head.

“’Almost’? Somehow that doesn’t inspire much faith.”

“Just trust me, Chris.” Darren sighed. “Please?”

The now-familiar warm feeling Chris always got when he was around Darren returned, and he smiled before rolling his eyes and swearing to Darren that he would write it all out.

*

‘ _Baby It’s Cold Outside_ ’ quickly became one of Chris and Darren’s favorite scenes that they’ve ever shot.

The choreography and the scene itself were simplistic and fun, teasingly chasing each other around the room and pretend-flirting with every move and look.

It was fun and sweet and neither of them could wait for the fans to see it, betting on the kind of reactions they were going to get inbetween takes.

(Darren desperately wished the flirting looks had been real, and Chris wished he could do more scenes like that with Darren. Both of them bought the song when it officially came out, and whenever it played they would both smile and sing along)

*

They got the script for ‘Original Song’ at the end of a particularly rainy day on set.

Both of them had slipped it in their bags and left set, not giving it any thought until later that night.

At midnight, Darren called Chris, not saying anything for a long time after Chris had picked up.

“Have you turned into a serial killer in the past three hours since I’ve seen you?” Chris asked, deleting part of the sentence he was typing.

“Have you read the script yet?” Darren replied, not sounding as energetic as he usually did.

“No, why?”

“Go flip through it really quick.”

“Why?”

“Please? Just look for the Klaine scene.”

Chris sighed irritably, but did as Darren asked, pulling the script out of his bag and thumbing through it until he found the scene Darren was referring to.

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

Darren was silent for another uncharacteristically long moment.

“This shouldn’t be weird.” Chris spoke up. “It’s-they’ve been wanting this from the beginning, and it’s really sweet, the way this is written. And it’s not-it’s not actually us.”

“Yeah. Yeah, it’s fine.” Darren said, hurriedly. “I mean, this is probably going to be one of the most popular episodes ever, right?”

“Right. Everyone freaks out when we’re just in the same place as each other, they’ve gotta like this. It’s just natural. I mean, Blaine was made essentially for Kurt.”

“Uh-listen, I gotta go. See you tomorrow.” Darren told him, hanging up before Chris could say anything.

He pulled his phone away from his face, staring at the dark screen with confusion.

“What was _that_ about?” he muttered to himself, going back to writing.

*

Darren flopped down on the floor in front of Joey with a sigh.

It took ten minutes of Darren making the saddest, most pitiful noises he could muster before Joey finally acknowledged him.

“What’s your problem _now_? Literally last night you were skipping around the kitchen like a goddamn Disney princess, what could have _possibly_ happened to make you so sad?”

Darren brandished his still-open script at Joey.

“So fuckin’ dramatic.” Joey teased, grabbing it and reading the page, his face falling. “Oh.”

“What am I going to do?” Darren moaned, hitting his head against the floor.

“Do you still-”

“Yeeeees.”

“Does he know-”

“About my dumbass crush? Nope, and he’s not gonna, so you shut up about that. I already told you why I can’t just tell-”

“I meant about the macking.”

Darren lifted his head to glare at Joey. “Macking? Are you five?”

“Yes. But that’s not the point. Right now we’re on your problems, not mine.” Joey told him, sounding slightly smug.

“He said it shouldn’t be weird ‘cause it’s not us, it’s Kurt and Blaine.” Darren grumbled, hesitating before admitting the next bit. “And…and he mentioned how it was just natural and that Blaine was made for Kurt.”

“Oh, Darren.” Joey practically cooed. “You’re really screwed with this guy, aren’t you?”

“Yeah, I am.” Darren sighed. “Any advice, o wise one?”

“Fuck if I know what to do.” Joey shrugged. “The best I’ve got is ice cream and crap movies we secretly like but make fun of all the time.”

“I love you.” Darren sighed, hopping up and over to the DVD cabinet.

“We’ve talked about this, it’s weird when you ramble about someone you’re in love to and tell me you love me!”

Darren laughed, grabbing ‘The Little Mermaid’ and putting it in the dvd player before Joey could see.

*

Chris was a professional.

Sure, he goofed around with everyone on set and everything like that, but the _second_ the cameras started rolling, he immediately snapped to attention, having made sure that he had known all of his lines the night before they filmed the scene. It was hard to get him out of character once he was in it.

He didn’t usually get nervous.

But the day they were going to film the kiss scene between Kurt and Blaine, Chris felt like he was going to throw up from the butterflies that were swirling around in his stomach.

He had filmed kissing scenes before, there was Heather last season and Max a while back, but with Darren…with Darren it was different.

Maybe it was the whole ‘soulmate’ thing resurfacing, even though Chris and Darren had talked about it, over and over after that first initial conversation when they decided to be friends. Maybe it was that stupid chemical or whatever it was that made you know who your soulmate was, reacting to the the thought of kissing him.

Or maybe it was just because it was Darren.

Darren, who had become his best friend after they had gotten over everything. He had wormed his way into Chris’s life, carved out a special place for himself quickly and easily, before Chris had even realized it. He was the first one who had known about Chris’s myriad of projects that he had hidden away, and was the one who encouraged a few of them to finish being made.

And kissing one of your best friends was weird.

After they had wrapped, Chris would know how it felt to kiss Darren. Several times, since they would have to shoot the scene over and over. And knowing the way his dumb brain worked, the memory would come back every time he talked to Darren for at least a month (it had done the same with Heather, luckily their characters never really interacted at all). Also, knowing Darren, it would be impossible to just not hang out with him for a couple of weeks until he was sure he could talk to him without blushing. Darren would just seek him out, giving Chris a wide-eyed sad look until Chris either spoke to him outside of a scene or invited him over to hang out.

Thinking about it was making him feel even more nervous, he realized, just as the director called them over to set.

Thank god he didn’t have many lines to remember.

He sat down at his place, pretending to glue the tiny gems onto the small box (resisting the urge to roll his eyes) as they called ‘action’.

He heard Darren’s (Blaine’s) footsteps, a quiet, sure, _tap, tap, tap_ , before he spoke.

“What’s that?”

“I’m decorating Pavotratti’s casket.”

“Well, finish up. I have the perfect song for our duet and I think we should practice.”

“Do tell.”

“Candles, by Hey Monday.”

“I’m impressed. You’re usually so Top 40.”

“Well, I just wanted something a little more emotional.” Darren (Blaine) said, sitting down. A beat.

“Why did you pick me to sing that song with?” Chris said, trying to make himself look confused. Another pause.

“Kurt, there is a moment, when you say to yourself, ‘oh, there you are. I’ve been looking for you forever.’ Watching you do Blackbird this week, that was a moment for me. About you. I-you move me, Kurt. And this duet would just be an excuse to spend more time with you.”

Yet another pause. And then, Darren was leaning in, and Chris only had a brief moment to panic before soft lips pressed against his. Chris inhaled sharply through his nose, unable to think for a moment, too stuck in a moment of, _oh, so this is how it feels like_ , his hand going up to cup Darren’s cheek, feeling Darren deepen the kiss slightly before pulling away.

Chris kept his eyes closed, blinking them open once his hand hit the table with a dull _thud_ , feeling his cheeks heat up and his mouth gape open.

Darren sat back down in his chair, leaning his forehead agains his hand before shaking it and saying his line, sounding a little giddy.

“We should-we should practice.”

“I thought we were.” Chris replied with his own line, the both of them lurching forwards for the next kiss.

“CUT!”

Darren pulled away slowly and flopped down in his chair, cheeks red.

Both of them were silent, staring at one another until the crew called for them to get in position for the next take.

*

“Come over? After work?”

It’s Darren that breaks the silence that’s been between them the entire day.

“Joey’s got work, so it’ll just be me and you. We can watch Disney movies, I can order us a pizza or I can make something else if you want?” he continued, starting to ramble a bit. “I mean, whatever you want to do, we can. Your choice, man.”

“Okay.” Chris heard himself say, feeling a strong sense of déjà vu as Darren flashed him a nervous grin.

*

“Pick any movie you want.” Darren told Chris, taking his shoes off at the door. “I’ll go order a pizza. Any special requests, or is it fine with you if I order whatever?”

“I don’t care.” Chris said, wandering over to the DVD cabinet, his mind racing and thinking out any number of ways the inevitable conversation about filming that day could go. He grabbed a movie without seeing what it was, putting the disc in the player blindly as Darren came into the room, his eyes lighting up.

“ _The Princess and the Frog_? Awesome! Well, okay, all Disney movies are cool, but I _knew_ you’d like that one. You are a _lot_ like Tiana, in my opinion. In fact-”

“I’ve never seen this one.” Chris blurted out, mostly to get Darren to just stop talking. (His head was starting to pound, this was a horrible idea, why in the world had he agreed to this?)

“What? Oh my god, get over here. This movie’s amazing.”

By the time the pizza got there, both of them had completely forgotten why Darren had invited Chris over in the first place.

(They never did talk about what had happened during filming that day.)

*

Everything was normal (well, as normal as it ever got for them) between them for a few months after that.

Chris went with everyone else to New York to film the last episode of the season, leaving Darren behind (Darren texted Chris non-stop the entire trip, asking for pictures and stories and the like). Everyone else teased him mercilessly about it (except for Lea and Cory, who only gave him a small, seemingly understanding smile).

A little while later, they announced and started their international tour.

Chris became used to everyone invading one another’s space due to the sheer lack of it anywhere, even onstage.

He also grew used to Darren being around 24/7, practically attached to Chris’s hip. They even had a bet going over who would be the one to completely crack during their little skit partway through the show.

He had gotten close to getting Darren to crack several times, with the handmade plates and the hat, crown and cape in London and the T-shirt accident in Dublin.

The final show was coming up in Dublin, and Chris was determined to make Darren laugh at least once during their skit.

He had been working on a special poem all summer, just in case it boiled down to this point (and he would never tell anyone this ever, but he had secretly hoped they would get to this point. He was really proud of what he had written, dammit.)

Tonight would be the night, he decided. Darren was going to break character onstage or

*

Chris was completely oblivious to the conspiratorial looks and grins everyone was sharing that night, too caught up in his own plans.

He practically skipped onstage, recited the scripted dialogue, and then,

“Blaine Warbler Anderson, I have never loved another,

Except for last year when I was in love with my stepbrother.

I admire you almost as much as I admire the late Alexander McQueen,

You squint when you sing!

How I miss our impromptu performances in the Dalton Academy halls, the rooms, the bleachers,

Where the hell were all the teachers?

We’ve seen everything eye to eye, all the pain and hurt;

At least we did until my last growth spurt.

We’ve shared so many intimate moments, memories that shine in glitter,

just the two of us, Facebook, Myspace, Tumblr and Twitter.

Since we’ve met it’s been absolute heaven,

for your Emmy consideration 2011.

But through all the glory, the scary, and the hype,

I swear to god I’m going to punch the next person who calls me a stereotype.

I’m so glad to have found a partner as talented as me and forever we shall be,

unless the writers change things in season 3.”

Chris then said his line, and stood, confused, when Darren asked him to stand up.

He didn't even register Darren coming so close to him, too used to lounging around in their limited space on tour.

All he knew was that one moment, Darren (or Blaine) was speaking to him (or Kurt) and the next, his world had exploded a little.

Once Darren released him, he stumbled backwards, feeling dizzy and breathless, only remembering he had more dialogue to remember when Darren looked at him.

“Oh no no no honey that’s Finn’s thing.” Chris said, feeling his cheeks heat up even more at how much higher his voice seemed.

The lights dimmed and Chris scrambled offstage, feeling the need to get far, far away and hide somewhere so that he could sort out everything running through his head.

But Darren caught his hand as soon as he got backstage, his cheeks also pink.

“Hey. I just- that was a-that was-”

He sounded just as unsure and confused as Chris felt, and even though Chris wanted him to explain why in the world had compelled him to do that, Chris couldn’t bring himself to let Darren to continue.

“It’s alright.” he said. “Later.”

Darren looked momentarily surprised, and then smiled.

“We should-we should go change then.” he said, starting the walk to the dressing rooms again.

Chris didn’t notice that he was still holding onto his hand until they both let go to change.

*

On the way back to the hotel room, Darren felt like he was floating.

He had kissed Chris, the first time not as Kurt and Blaine (well, technically they were supposed to have been, but then Chris had read his poem that was so not Kurt-like at all) and it was everything Darren had hoped it would be as a child.

There had been that spark, that feeling that they always described in romance novels (shut up, they had been his mom’s and he had been bored one day as a teenager) and movies and shit when you were kissing your soulmate.

And Darren could’ve sworn that those glittering lights that he had seen during the kiss weren’t the numerous cell phones cameras that had most likely gone off from the crowd, but fireworks that had gone off in his mind as they kissed.

Chris had kissed back, true, it hadn’t been immediately, but he had after a few seconds of frozen shock.

And when they had gotten offstage and Darren had attempted to explain why, tell Chris why he had done it, Chris had only told him that it was alright, he could tell him later.

Then, while Darren’s back had turned, Chris had stolen his Warbler tie to wear instead of his black one for the Single Ladies performance.

(That was an image Darren never wanted to erase from his mind, Chris looking sexy as fuck wearing Darren’s tie and gyrating for the crowd.)

He followed Chris back to his hotel room, practically skipping, the butterflies that would usually be fluttering around in his chest calmed by thinking about what had happened earlier.

He should’ve known something was up by the look on Chris’s face, and by the fact that nothing was as it seemed with Chris Colfer.

“So before you say anything,” Chris started, shutting the door behind them, “I want to let you know that they told me.”

Darren blinked. “Who told you what?”

“Mark, Chord, and Ashley. They told me that you were planning to kiss me as part of the bit.” Chris explained.

Darren just sat there in a stunned silence as Chris continued, “It’s okay, you don’t have to apologize or anything. I get it, it’s the last show, and Naya and Heather did the same thing. Just…warn me next time, okay?”

“Okay.” Darren breathed, feeling like he had just plummeted back down to Earth.

*

Darren left for his own room almost immediately, not sticking around to hang out like he usually did after a show.

Chris flopped down on his bed, feeling exhausted, his mind wandering as he drifted off.

He didn’t even realize that he was touching his lips, trying to recreate the soft pressure of Darren’s lips on his.

*

Chris had won the bet.

Darren, the hopeless romantic that he was, had insisted that their characters weren’t going to have sex until at the very least the end of season 3.

Chris, knowing what kind of show glee was, had bet it would be very, _very_ early in the season.

“Told you so.” Chris grumbled, his arms crossed in front of himself as he sat down on the hood of the car.

“I already paid you the twenty bucks; you don’t need to repeat it.” Darren snorted.

“Shut up.” Chris laughed, shoving him and then glancing at the small crowd of fans starting to gather. “I meant that I told you that this was going to suck to film.”

“What?” Darren asked, pretending to be offended. “You don’t want to make out with me in the backseat of a car with several crew members and fans watching our every move and filming it for television?”

“You’re _so_ funny.” Chris snarked, smiling despite his comment.

“Chris, Darren, time to start rolling!” A crew member called out.

They took their places at the door of their fake bar, Chris’s arm wrapped around Darren’s torso as if he was trying to keep him close, Darren’s arm around Chris’s shoulder, leaning into him and already grinning.

 _He sort of looks like a puppy,_ Chris thinks, right before they call action.

The first part of the scene goes off without a hitch, they collectively stumble their way over to the car, and then…

That’s when things started to fall apart.

The first time through, Darren bangs his head on the door frame, sputtering soft curses as Chris laughed.

The second, he accidentally knees Chris in the balls as he was pulling him in.

The third, Chris and Darren got everything right, only to discover that the lighting wasn’t right, so they had to redo everything.

Finally, the fourth run through of the scene, everything went perfectly, moving on to shooting inside of the car.

“You okay?” Darren asked, lying under Chris as the crew hastily set up so they could start as soon as possible.

“Yeah.” Chris breathed, shakily, trying to ignore the warmth seeping through his clothes everywhere he and Darren were pressed together.

“Good.” Darren told him, smiling. “It’s just me.”

They called action, and Darren pulled Chris down, kissing him sweetly and a little sloppily, hands running over Chris’s back and chest. Chris started kissing back almost instinctually, losing himself a little in the feel of their mouths moving together, almost forgetting that he needed to breathe until Darren pulled away, letting out a shaky breath before attaching his lips to Chris’s neck.

Chris heard himself make a strangled noise, turning his head to catch Darren’s lips again, forgetting (just like in Dublin, he realized later) that he had to pull away, had lines to recite, until Darren stopped kissing him and nudged him away.

Chris tried to ignore the sudden tightness in his pants, and the pleased feeling that he had every single time the crew announced that they were going to have to shoot another take.

*

->Darren Everett Criss

->You motherfucker

<-?

->You gave me a hickey

->A /hickey/

->Right on my neck

->Where it is IMPOSSIBLE to hide in any way except for concealer

->And EVEN THEN you can STILL SEE IT

<-Oops?

->Really? ‘Oops’ is all you can say?

->I have a meeting today about publishing my stuff, and I have to walk in there with a huge hickey on my neck

->I hope you’re pleased with yourself

<-Sorry :(

<-I got carried away last night I’m really really sorry

<-I’m not going to ask him how he knows this but Joey says you can hide it with just a toothbrush and a baggie of ice

<-(I had to tell him why I needed to know he laughed at me I hope this makes you feel better)

<-Do you want to know?

->No, Alla saw it, laughed, and whipped out all this crazy makeup to hide it the best she could. But now I both want to know why Joey knows that and at the same time I never, ever do (It does make me feel better that you were laughed at)

<-Oh good (Also I tripped walking to the kitchen and smashed my face into the tile)

->Are you going to tell me every embarrassing/painful thing that happens to you until I say I forgive you?

<-…No…

->I’m rolling my eyes at my phone, just fyi

->(But I’m giving you points for trying to make me feel better)

->(I’m still mad at you though)

*

It took three minutes and the promise of a homemade dinner and any movie or TV show Chris wanted to watch to get Chris to speak to Darren again.

“And besides,” Chris said, trying to keep his voice sounding calm (because it was no big deal, why would it be a big deal), “we’re supposed to be making out again tomorrow, it’d be awful if I was still mad at you.”

“Aw, like you were really even mad at me.” Darren replied, and if Chris hadn’t been so busy still convincing himself that what they were going to film the next day was nothing, it meant nothing, he might have heard the slight tremor in Darren’s voice.

*

“This is weird. It’s not just me, right?”

“Uh-yeah. Yeah, it’s really weird.”

“Darren, are you okay? You kind of sounded like you were being strangled just now.”

“Well, look who’s talking! I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but your voice is so much higher than it usually is!”

“Rude, Darren. Just plain rude.”

They were currently lying _on top of one another_ , because the crew wasn’t ready when they first got into position, and they had _insisted_ that Chris and Darren _stay where they were_ because they were apparently in the perfect position to get a good shot of what they were going to film.

Chris was beginning to think that everyone in the crew were just plain sadists, trying yet again to ignore the warmth everywhere their bodies touched and the swirling butterflies in his stomach.

Finally, _finally_ , they were ready to start.

 _Kurt,_ Chris thought immediately as they called to start, _I’m Kurt, and he’s not Darren, he’s Blaine, and I love him._

Hesitatingly, Chris leaned down and pressed their lips together, kissing slowly but surely.

Darren ( _no, Blaine,_ the somehow still functioning part of Chris’s brain supplied) kissed back eagerly, less hesitant as Chris. He let Chris control the kiss this time, letting him decide when to pull away for air or how frantic the kiss became.

Every time they pulled away to breathe, Chris couldn’t help but to look at Darren, at the way his eyes stayed closed, his mouth parted and looking so sinfully gorgeous that Chris couldn’t help but to kiss him again.

There was a voice in his head, that got quieter and quieter the longer they went on, the kept reminding Chris that they were filming, that he didn’t have any feelings for Darren, that he was supposed to be pretending that Darren was Blaine and Chris himself was supposed to be Kurt, that none of this meant anything, and on and on.

Chris ignored that voice until it went away, letting himself get lost in the feeling of making out with Darren until they called ‘cut’.

They parted, thrown out of the little world they had been lost in, Darren making that same face he had been while they were filming for a moment until he blinked his eyes open and gave Chris a wavering smile, as if he was trying to assure Chris that he was alright when he clearly wasn’t.

One of the crew members came over and told them that for this take, they wanted them to switch. The two did so, Darren taking a deep breath before rolling over so that he was hovering over Chris, the same odd smile on his face.

“Hey,” Chris said, wincing at the slightly raspy sound to his voice. “Hey, remember what you said the other night? In the car?”

Darren blinked at him, a blush creeping onto his face.

Chris attempted to smile at him, hoping the nerves now flooding back through him didn’t twist it into something else.

“It’s just me.” Chris whispered, just as the scene began again.

*

Three days later, Darren showed up at Chris’s, carrying a bag of ingredients to make dinner with and his guitar case.

Chris opened the door, his glasses crooked and his hair mussed, and several marks on his cheek from where it had clearly been pressed against something as he slept.

He looked so adorable it made Darren’s heart skip in his chest.

“Wha’-What are you doin’ here?” Chris mumbled, rubbing his eyes and squinting at Darren.

“You said to come over today.” Darren grinned. “Dinner and whatever you wanted to watch, remember?”

“I thought that was tomorrow.”

Darren laughed. “You stayed up all night writing without realizing it again, didn’t you?”

“…No.”

“Whatever you say.” Darren teased. “C’mon, break time.”

“I’ve been taking a break.” Chris grumbled, moving aside so that Darren could walk in.

“Napping at your desk doesn’t count as taking a break.” Darren told him, making his way to the kitchen and starting to unpack his bag of groceries.

“I have food here, y’know.” Chris sighed.

“Yeah, but I wanted to make sure you had everything I needed.” Darren hummed, waving his hand at Chris. “Go put something on, I’ll start cooking.”

“Well, what if I want to help?” Chris asked, putting his hands on his hips.

“Nope. Dinner tonight is a surprise, you’re not allowed to help or be in here.” Darren said, flashing him a grin before turning back to the food.

“But it’s my kitchen-”

“No.”

“Fine.” Chris grumbled, sitting down on his couch and flipping on the TV, absent-mindedly flipping through the channels as he listened to Darren move around, pans clattering and the low sound of him singing echoing through the house.

He didn’t even realize he had fallen asleep again until Darren was shaking him gently.

“Hey. Dinner’s ready.” Darren told him. “If you’re not hungry right now, I can wrap it up for later?”

Chris’s stomach lurched, reminding him that he hadn’t eaten since the night before, and he sat up quickly.

“No, it’s good. I can eat now.”

Darren laughed again (Chris ignored the way it made him want to laugh along with him) and led the way to Chris’s kitchen, giving him a little bow and a, “Ta-daa!” as he walked in.

There were two bowls of spaghetti sitting on the table, topped with sauce and still steaming, a can of Diet Coke next to one and Dr. Pepper next to the other.

Chris felt his heart and stomach twist for some reason at the little gesture, his brain still foggy from sleep.

“I-thank you. You didn’t have to-” Chris started to stammer out.

“Ah. It was nothing, I promised, didn’t I?” Darren interrupted. “Do you wanna eat here or in the living room?”

“Living room.” Chris breathed, watching as Darren grabbed both bowls and then attempted to pick up the sodas as well. Chris took them before he managed to figure out how to juggle the bowls so that he could carry it all, rolling his eyes as Darren’s protests followed him back to the couch.

“I could’ve taken it all.” Darren pouted, setting down the bowls.

“Not without dropping something.” Chris snorted.

“Whatever.” Darren huffed, slouching into the couch and sticking out his tongue at Chris when he looked at him.

“You’re such a child. Are we sure you’re older than me?” Chris huffed.

“If you wanna believe my birth certificate.” Darren grinned, lunging up and digging into his spaghetti, mood completely flipping within the second it took him to speak. “Wha’re we watchin’?”

“Seriously, are you six?” Chris muttered before looking at the TV. “Um…oh! There’s a Doctor Who marathon today!”

“Wha’sh tha’?” Darren said, his words almost impossible to hear around the mouthful of food.

“Um. I guess it’s a sci-fi show?” Chris told him. “I don’t know, it’s kind of hard to describe. But it’s got time travel and monsters and it’s British, so it’s obviously really awesome.”

“Cool.” Darren hummed, swallowing for what seemed to be the first time since he started eating. “Turn it on.”

*

Two episodes and two empty bowls later, Darren was listening to Chris explain why the TARDIS was a 1960s era police box and not something else more modern or cool, not really paying any attention, just watching him talk.

“I love you.” Darren murmured, immediately freezing as soon as the words came out, hoping that Chris hadn’t heard them.

Unfortunately, he had.

Chris stopped talking, his eyes growing wide as he just stared at Darren.

“You…you love me?” Chris stammered out, the expression on his face almost exactly what it had been the night they had met a little over a year ago.

“…Yes.” Darren admitted. His secret was out there, there was no use in trying to deny it anymore.

Chris, however, looked like he was about to pass out. Or throw up. Maybe both.

_Crap._

Darren stood, ready to grab a trash can or to catch Chris if he fell forwards, he wasn’t quite sure yet.

“I-” Chris finally shuddered. “I-”

“I can just- I can leave. And never talk to you again. Whatever you want. I can-”

“No. No, I can’t- I just want- _Darren._ ” Chris choked out. “Darren I don’t- Darren, I don’t hate you.”

“Oh.” Darren said, blinking at Chris, who was biting his lip, still looking like he might fall over any second.

“But-but I don’t- I don’t love you back. At-at least I don’t…I don’t think I do. I’m not- I’m not sure.”

Darren felt that sinking feeling in his chest again, his brain already working to convince him that this was good, he had said he didn’t know how he felt about Darren, he could love him back without even realizing it, there was still hope.

“It’s okay.” Darren heard himself say, an eerie feeling of déjà vu coming over him as he spoke.

It was quiet between them for the longest moment.

“I’m just gonna-I’m gonna go home.” Darren finally said, jerking his finger towards the door.

Chris didn’t say anything or move to stop him.

*

It became a sort of dance.

Shoot what they were asked, make it seem like they were in love for the cameras, and then avoid each other once they had stopped rolling.

They would chat casually at work, but only if there were other people around.

They would avoid each other on set or out with their friends, making excuses whenever they tried to put them together for an interview for a behind the scenes video or on a talk show, or when it was only going to be a small group of their friends hanging out.

Eventually they stopped asking them, and it was much easier to keep up the little game.

Chris was the one to finally ask the writers, late in season three, if they could break Kurt and Blaine up.

He said it was boring to shoot the same sort of thing over and over again, that he wanted to try working with other actors and see what could come of it.

The writers agreed.

*

Months later, Chris found himself in a tiny trailer (that he was supposed to share with Darren, but Darren was still coming in from LeakyCon), a script called ‘The Break Up’ in his hands.

He should be thrilled; it was what he asked them for.

But for some reason, looking at the script made his stomach twist in unpleasant ways, and reading the lines made him unbearably sad.

It was odd, and he couldn’t figure out why.

He wanted to talk to someone about it, but that would mean telling the whole, long story to them, and telling them that they were apparently soulmates, and he didn’t want to hear ‘but you’re soulmates! You belong together!’ repeated at him right then.

Soulmates didn’t always work out.

Chris knew that, he had never like the idea of having a soulmate, and yet-

And yet the thought of not having anything to do with Darren (besides being on the same show, but it wouldn’t count anymore after this, because Darren would be filming in one place and he would be in another, they wouldn’t have any chance to see each other or interact at all) made him feel sick, made him want to tear his hair out and cry, find some way to fix it and make it stop.

Chris managed to wipe away the tear that had been forming before it the page he was staring at.

Nothing was right, it hadn’t been since that night a long, long time ago, and there wasn’t any words Chris could think about to describe why it was so.

*

Darren was moving on.

Really.

(Actually he wasn’t, he was so far from moving on, he was still hopelessly in love with his soulmate, the boy who didn’t love him back, the boy who had broken his heart over and over again, mostly without realizing it, the only person in the world who made him feel truly comfortable just being around them, the only person he had ever known that didn’t want a soulmate.)

But Darren was fine.

He would live, he could get through it.

It was much easier now that they no longer had to film together for the show, easier now that he didn’t have to look Chris in the face every single day at work.

But he _missed_ Chris, missed him with every single molecule in his body, missed the way they would just sit on one of their couches, Chris typing away at his laptop and Darren strumming away at his guitar, a sense of easy sort-of silence in the room as they both worked, missed the way Chris could get so enraptured into a movie, forgetting Darren was even _there_ sometimes.

All the little things that had made them _them_ , everything that now hurt to think about late at night when Darren just wanted to talk to somebody who understood or who would let him just talk and talk until he was done getting out every single thing that was on his chest, all of those things Darren missed.

It got easier, sure, but there were still moments where he felt like he couldn’t function anymore.

But he was surviving.

And then November rolled around and they passed around the scripts for the holiday episode.

There was a couple of scenes between Kurt and Blaine, the first ones in months, and Darren felt like he could breathe a little again.

*

Lea came over to him a couple of days before he was supposed to fly to New York for a charity event with Charlene and to film one of the scenes, a sly smile on her face as she whispered into his ear, “Chris needs a car for the next few days, his broke down.”

Darren blinked at her. “Why are you telling me this?”

“Because you two need to work things out. It’s no fun for any of us with you two moping.” Lea smiled. “Also, I know he misses you just as much as you miss him.

“Thank you.” Darren breathed, his mind spinning.

“No problem.” Lea smiled, patting his shoulder as she left.

*

<-Heard your car is out of commission

<-And I’m leaving early for NY so…

<-You can use mine, if you want?

<-You just have to drop me off at the airport

<-Is that okay?

->Yeah, it’s fine

->Thank you

*

It was completely silent on the car ride to the airport.

Darren felt queasy, everything he had planned to say to fix it, to fix them falling apart as soon as he went to say any of it.

Chris walked him to the security gate, still silent. Darren looked over at him every few seconds, about to say something random to break the tension between them, but the words died on his lips looking at Chris’s face, the way he was biting his lip and looking like he was trying to focus on something.

“Hey…hey, uh, Darren?” Chris finally said, right before they reached the lines for the security checkpoint.

“Yeah?” Darren breathed, the flood of words that he had almost said coming back to him in a rush.

But before he could actually say anything, Chris leaned forwards and kissed him, a barely-there pressure, over before Darren really even registered what was happening.

“Have a good flight.” Chris whispered, nerves and fear flickering over his expression as he backed away, starting back towards the parking lot.

Darren blinked, one thought screaming out over everything else in his mind.

_Don’t let him leave don’t let him go come ON, you moron!_

His legs started moving, racing to catch up with Chris, and Darren caught his hand.

Chris turned, looking surprised for the brief moment it took Darren to pull him close and kiss him.

It was nowhere near the careful gentleness of Chris’s kiss moments before, Darren knew it, but he was desperate, all the feelings from the past two years pouring out into that kiss.

Chris was kissing him back, equally as desperately, and they might not have pulled away if it hadn’t been for a mother clipping the back of Darren’s leg with her stroller.

“Oh, I’m so sorry.” she said kindly, walking away as quickly as she could.

Darren and Chris turned to one another, simply staring and letting everything sink in, both feeling out of breath and in shock.

“Gotta-I gotta catch my flight.” Darren finally spoke, jerking his finger towards the line behind him.

“Yeah. Yeah, you should go.” Chris breathed.

Darren flashed him a weak smile before turning and walking away.

Chris stood there, mesmerized, for a long time, long after Darren had gone through the line and could no longer be seen before he walked back to Darren’s car, a grin slowly forming on his face.

*

The flight wasn’t pleasant for Darren.

He was still slightly shocked from what had happened at first, but as it wore off, his head began to pound from everything that was running through it.

Darren realized how little he actually knew was going on.

Sure, he had started it all off by having Chris drive him to the airport, but he had no idea why Chris had kissed him in the first place, or what Chris had been thinking, or really anything but the fact that it had happened.

Once Darren had realized what was going on, a million and one ‘ _what if_ ’s began to run through his head, most of them ridiculous and in no way possible, but made perfect sense to his slightly-sleep deprived and panicked mind.

He wanted to talk to Chris, find out what was going on, but he couldn’t.

Because he was trapped in a giant metal tube thousands of feet in the air, getting farther and farther away from LA every second.

Darren put in his headphones, curling up into a ball and letting the music blast into his ears, drowning out most of the thoughts in his head.

*

When Darren landed, his phone went crazy, vibrating incessantly for a couple minutes straight, then showing:

**29 Messages from: Chris**

Darren tapped the messages icon, preparing himself for the worst.

->Hi

->You haven’t landed yet, have you?

->Of course you haven’t, it’s only been an hour

->I wanted to tell you that

->I think I like you

->Oh my god that sounds pathetic

->What am I, a fourteen year old girl?

->Anyway

->I was thinking about it

->A lot lately

->Ever since Battery Park really

->And I realized how much I missed you

->And even though I was the one to ask for them to break us up

->It was really awful to think about and to actually film

->It hurt

->And until I read the script for this episode I didn’t even realize what it was that made it so awful

->Yeah

->So

->I think I like you

->I say I think because I really have no idea what this is

->But I want to try

->So? What do you think?

->Right

->Shit

->You’re still flying

->I’m gonna go hide now

->Text me back when you land

->Or don’t I’ll get it

->Actually I won’t but you know what I mean

Darren laughed, feeling every horrible thing he had thought over the past few hours pretty much evaporate.

<-Yes

->Yes?

<-Yes I want to give this a try :)

->Oh thank god

->I’m going to call you now

Chris’s picture flashed across the screen, and Darren hit ‘answer’ as fast as his fingers would allow him to.

“Hey.”

“Hi.”

*

Chris got from the airport to the Bryant Park Skating Rink in record time the night they were supposed to film.

Only the crew was there, setting up, and laughing at something Chris couldn’t see yet.

He made his way past them all, feeling his entire face light up with a grin when he saw the lone person skating around on the ice.

It was Darren, in costume, but his curls loose and his jacket and scarf undone and flying behind him as he skated around the rink as fast as he could.

He spotted Chris soon enough, a grin matching Chris’s spreading across his face as he glided over to where Chris was leaning on the railing.

“Hey.” he said, sounding breathless and giddy.

“Hi.” Chris breathed, knowing he sounded the exact same way Darren did.

It was silent between them, like it had been several times before, in vastly different situations, but this time, the silence was comfortable, not because of a lack of things to say (there were still so many things that both of them wanted to say, so many things that they still wanted to get off their chest, but the time wasn’t just right for those things to be said just yet), but because both were just too wrapped up in the moment, too happy to be in each other’s presence again to really be bothered with talking.

Chris was called away to get wardrobe and makeup done, exchanging a quiet smile with Darren before he left.

When he came back, there were fans _everywhere_ , fawning over Darren (who was still skating around the ice, showing off with big smiles and laughs) and taking picture after picture with squeals erupting every so often.

And for the first time in a long while, Chris wasn’t that nervous to be around so many people, doing something he hadn’t done in a long, long time, quickly getting on his ice skates and joining Darren on the ice, wobbling on his feet.

Darren skated over to help him, all smiles and teasing comments.

“I can do it.” Chris assured him, smiling. “You go get the gelmet on.”

Darren groaned half-heartedly before racing away.

Chris used the time Darren was away to get used to skating again, stumbling more than once and laughing along with the fans every time he did, pulling faces once he knew cameras were on him.

Darren suddenly sped past him, a peal of laughter erupting when Chris began chasing him back to the crew.

The two stayed close to one another the entire time the crew was giving them directions, shooting each other giddy looks every few seconds.

“C’mon, we’ve gotta take a picture.” Darren said once they were done being given instructions, tugging Chris over to a bench.

“And why would we do that?” Chris laughed.

“To post on twitter!” Darren announced, grinning like a little kid. “It’ll break the internet.”

“And that’s a good thing?”

“Of course it is!”

“Alright.” Chris agreed, a smile matching Darren’s on his face.

**_Chris Colfer_ ** _@chriscolfer_

_Eleven hours in ice skates! We’re ready for the Olympics…or the hospital @DarrenCriss_ [ _http://_ _lockerz.com/s/262867959_ ](http://t.co/FjxKmsfZ)

*

“You made it.” Darren heard in his ear, and he spun around to see Chris, grinning from ear to ear, looking _so fucking hot_ in that suit.

“Of course I did.” Darren laughed, hugging him before continuing. “It was fantastic, just like I told you it was going to be.”

“The movie really was amazing.” Harry butted in (Darren would’ve felt bad that he had forgotten that he was there, but he couldn’t bring himself to. Not when it involved his extremely attractive semi-secret boyfriend).

“Thank you!” Chris beamed.

A photographer came by to take a picture of the three of them, and when he had left, Darren leaned over and whispered in Chris’s ear, “Bathroom in ten?”

He smirked at the blush that spread over Chris’s cheeks and at the jerky nod he was given before he walked off, keeping an eye out for the restrooms, ducking inside the men’s and leaning against the wall.

Minutes later, Chris burst in; face bright red as he locked the door behind him.

“The _look_ Harry gave me after you left, oh my god, you are _such_ an a- _mmph_.” Chris started, interrupted by Darren pressing him into the wall and kissing him hard and dirty.

“You look so good in this suit.” Darren panted once he was done.

“’Course I do.” Chris preened, tilting his head back and staring at Darren with hooded eyes as he panted.

Darren moved forwards again, kissing lightly at Chris’s neck, careful not to leave any marks as he wrestled with his tie. “Want you.”

“Careful with my suit, don’t wanna walk back out there looking like I just got it on in the bathroom at my movie premiere.” Chris huffed, moaning a little when Darren finally managed to pull his shirt away from a little bit of his shoulder and started sucking a bruise into the skin.

“But you are.” Darren snickered, kissing back up to Chris’s mouth.

“Shut up and fucking do _something_.” Chris growled, no heat at all behind it.

Darren complied with a grin, lifting Chris up so that his legs were wrapped around Darren’s waist (Chris let out a little yelp at this motion) and started trying to wrestle with Chris’s belt as they kissed.

Chris pulled away from the kiss first, moving his lips to Darren’s bristly jaw as he reached to start unbuttoning Darren’s shirt.

There was a loud knocking at the door that had them both freezing where they were, staring at the door with wide eyes.

“We should-we should get back to the party.” Chris breathed, looking down at Darren.

“Are you sure we can’t just-?” Darren asked pleadingly.

Chris groaned and tipped his head back again.

“As much as I’d love to, we can’t.”

Darren pouted, but set Chris down reluctantly, following him over to the mirrors to fix their clothes before walking back out.

“You can come over later.” Chris said suddenly, fixing his collar. “We can finish this then.”

“Oh my god.” Darren shuddered. “How much longer is this party again?”

Chris merely laughed, kissing Darren on the cheek before walking out.

*

“What if they don’t buy any tickets?” Darren asked, for the trillionth time that morning.

“Darren, I’ve told you, your fans,” Chris started, shifting so that he was kneeling behind Darren, kissing his cheek, “love you. And there are a lot of them. You’re going to sell out in seconds.”

“But-”

“But nothing.” Chris argued. “I’m gonna go make us some breakfast, do you want anything?”

“Nah.” Darren shrugged. “I’m good.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah. ‘M fine.”

“If you say so.” Chris sighed, leaving the room.

Not even ten minutes later, Chris heard Darren shriek from his room.

He dropped the butter knife he was holding, bolting down the hallway as quickly as he could.

As soon as he shoved the door open, Chris saw Darren staring, wide-eyed, at his laptop screen, nothing at all seeming to be wrong.

“What…the hell?” Chris asked, trying to catch his breath from practically sprinting there.

“I-They-Chris, they sold out! My shows _sold out_!” Darren squeaked, bouncing up and turning the screen to show Chris.

True to Darren’s word, every single show that had gone on sale so far had the little red letters proclaiming it as ‘sold out’ instead of a little link to buy tickets.

“I told you.” Chris said, unable to keep the smugness from his voice. “You didn’t even need to shoot that silly little video asking them to.”

“I-shut up.” Darren laughed, looking purely joyful.

“But promise me something really quick?” Chris asked, earning him a confused look. “Never scream like that again for no reason. I thought you might’ve been getting murdered.”

Darren laughed again, earning him a half-hearted smack on the head.

*

Neither of them realizes how hard it is to be so far apart for so long.

At first, it was easy. Darren wasn’t really that far away, just a couple hours away in San Francisco and right back down to LA and then to Anaheim.

Chris follows the fan’s reactions of the first few shows online, wondering which of the new songs are for him (because he knows that there are some, Darren’s told him so, but he doesn’t know what they’re called).

It’s not until June and Darren is too far away to easily get to that Chris began to miss him.

And then Darren called him, breathing into the phone like whatever he has to say physically hurt him to get out.

“Just say it.” Chris demanded, immediately regretting it when Darren begins to speak.

“I have to-they want me to bring _her_ along. At least for some of the stops.”

Chris knows who ‘ _her_ ’ refers to. He’s never met her, doesn’t know anything more than the fact that she’s _there_ , just out of his sight, doing the things he isn’t quite so comfortable doing with Darren, showing up to places that he can’t on Darren’s arm.

He doesn’t hate her, has never had any reason to before, but in that moment, he did.

“Fine.” he bit out, not even bothering to hide the bitterness in his tone.

“Chris.” Darren breathed, but Chris didn’t want to hear it, not then, not when he wasn’t in perfect control of everything he could say.

“We’ll talk later.” Chris said, hanging up before he could hear Darren’s response.

*

“He’s not-fuck, dude, he’s not even answering my calls.” Darren sighed, strumming something sorrowful on his guitar.

“Well, you know how Chris is.” Chord hummed, throwing an M&M up in the air and attempting to catch it in his mouth. “He loves his space. Give it to him, he’ll come around.”

Darren rubbed at his face with his palm. “It’s just-they want me to say that she’s my girlfriend. In Toronto, on the radio. I can’t-Chord, I can’t do that.”

Chord stared at him, looking amused for a moment, before he spoke. “If he calls you back, then don’t say anything specific. But if he doesn’t, then do what they want you to. Sound good?”

Darren managed to smile half-heartedly. “Sure. So, what do you wanna play tonight?”

*

Onstage, with the bright lights and the roar of the crowd drowning out almost everything in his head, Darren felt the urge to play something, anything, for Chris, even if he knew he wouldn’t hear it.

He picked up his guitar and began to sing, something that he had been working on for a long time but had never played because he had never really felt the emotion behind it, the words just something that sounded right for the music.

“ _Baby I don’t care_

_The what, when, how, or where_

_Folks may try to laugh and make a fuss_

_They’ll try to make shit hard for us_

_But darling, I don’t care_

_Darling, I don’t mind_

_What they think they’ll find_

_Of all the secrets they have told,_

_At least I’ve still got you to hold_

_So, darling I don’t mind_

_I don’t give a damn_

_If they can’t understand_

_Of all the things that we have learned_

_They’re nothing as far as I’m concerned_

_So I don’t give a damn_

_Cause I’ll be the one to hold you_

_When the nights are cold_

_And although I know I told you_

_I will tell you forevermore that_

_Babe, it ain’t no thing_

_That viper venom sting_

_Cause even if it got your goat_

_I’d kiss you with the antidote,”_

Darren found himself singing words that hadn’t been there before, the verse more halted as he figured out the lyrics coming to him on the spot.

_“So babe, it ain’t no thing_

_Darling, I don’t care_

_Baby I don’t, baby I don’t mind._ ”

As the crowd in front of him cheered, Darren closed his eyes for a moment, hoping that somehow, somewhere, Chris had heard him.

*

Chris invited along Ashley and a friend of hers that he had met earlier that year to his premiere of _Struck By Lightning_ in Paris.

He hadn’t expected that something would pop up for her so that she couldn’t go, leaving him alone with Will.

Will was a nice guy (nowhere near as nice as Darren), so Chris supposed it wasn’t that bad.

But then Will had tried to hold his hand as they walked through the streets.

Chris had felt his face pale, stammering out a quiet, “I-I have a boyfriend.” as soon as he was sure that nobody else was around.

Will had understood, flashing him a smile before wandering off somewhere on his own.

Chris had gone back to his hotel room and almost dialed Darren’s number several times before he threw the phone across the room and fell asleep.

*

Darren saw the gifs online just before the show went on air.

Chris holding the hand of some guy in Paris, caught by a fan.

He had promptly cried for as long as he could, nearly dialing Chris every other minute, wanting him to _explain_ , to tell him exactly what in the world was going on, but he couldn’t bring himself to, afraid of what Chris would tell him.

At the radio station, when he was asked about the redness and puffiness around his eyes and nose, Darren had brushed them off as allergies.

He told them that he had a girlfriend and that they had been together two years when they asked, wishing that things didn’t have to be the way they were.

*

Chris debated with himself for the longest time over whether or not he should go to one of Darren’s shows or not.

Hell, he had made several lists weighing the pros and cons of going, but they all had ended up crumpled in various trash cans in hotels, because the first thing that had always come to mind when Chris had begun writing the pros was ‘Darren’.

He knew that if he showed up to one of them, or really any of them, they would let him in without needing a ticket, but that wasn’t the problem.

The problem was that his heart was still a little broken and a little fragile from both the fact that _she_ would be at some of the shows, sitting out in the open and not hidden away like he would have to be if he did end up going; and by the fact that Darren had said on some radio interview that he had a girlfriend.

The words had stung when Chris had first heard them, but now they were just a dull, repeating ache in his chest.

He knew why the words had to be said, knew what it might do to Darren’s career if Darren told the world about them, but it still hurt.

Ashley was the one who finally managed to talk him through what he was feeling.

She had called him to check in (because she hadn’t heard anything from Chris in a couple weeks) and suddenly Chris had found himself spilling the whole story out to her, even everything about them being soulmates and how Chris had never wanted to meet his.

“Whoa, honey, all I asked was if everything was okay with you and Darren.” Ashley had joked as soon as Chris was done speaking.

“Short answer: not at all.” Chris huffed, rolling over and staring at the screen of his laptop again, the cursor blinking in the middle of a paragraph he was revising.

Ashley was uncharacteristically quiet for a long time.

“Sweetie, go to his concert.”

“What?” Chris asked. “Ash, you heard me when I told you about everything that’s happened so far this summer, right?”

“Yeah, but I have three good reasons why all of that doesn’t matter.” Ashley told him.

“Oh, really? And what are they?” Chris snorted derisively.

“One, you’re proud of him. Chris, you were bragging about how Darren was about to go on a country-wide tour way before the tickets even went on sale. And trust me, you only got even more obnoxious after that. And he went to your premiere and everything for you, so you should do this for him.”

“But-”

“Let me finish before you start objecting. Anyway, the second reason you should go is because you don’t even have to see him or talk to him. Just hang around backstage, watch, and leave the second he’s done singing. Simple. No confrontation needed.”

“…Fair point.”

“Third reason you should go is because you love him.”

“I don-”

“Chris, you love Darren more than you love Diet Coke. Or Brian. Maybe more than the both of them combined.”

Chris felt a lump in form his throat. “And what makes you say that?”

“Honey, I’ve known you for almost three years. And in that time, you were happiest with Darren. He’s your best friend, the guy who encouraged you to actually get your book and movie done, and the goofball that shares most of your odd, cute little obsessions. Plus, and I know you hate the idea of soulmates, but he is yours. And that’s gotta mean _something_.”

“But what if it doesn’t work out?” Chris asked, knowing he sounded like he was crying.

“Then it doesn’t work out. But you need to at least try and see if you can fix things before just breaking it off completely and running away.”

“…Thank you, Ash.” Chris sniffled.

“No prob, sweetie. And hey? No matter what happens, I’m here for you. Also, you now owe me.”

Chris laughed, saying a hasty goodbye before going to pack his suitcase again and to call Alla.

*

Darren always checked twitter before he went onstage. Retweeting some of the ‘picture perfect girl’ tweets and then scrolling through to see what the fans waiting were saying.

It was calming, a little ritual that made him smile and get just as excited as everyone waiting just a few feet away.

But tonight, things were a little different.

Instead of it all being the usual spam of excited tweets as they waited, some fans were tweeting him a picture link, almost every comment attached to the link having to do with Chris.

Darren felt his breath catch in his throat once the photo had loaded, staring at the picture of Alla outside the venue, his brain struggling to believe that Chris was actually there.

They hadn’t spoken for a few weeks, not since he had called Chris to tell him Mia would be showing up.

But Alla wouldn’t just be at his concert. Not all the way out here in New York, and not if Chris wasn’t there as well.

Before Darren could actually go looking for either Chris or Alla herself, his cue came to get ready to go onstage, and he slid his phone in his pocket before rushing to get into place.

As he performed, Darren poured everything he had into the songs he had written with Chris in mind, along with Teenage Dream.

And during his customary speech before he sang Once Upon a Time, Darren took the opportunity to try and address Chris (if he was there, a quiet voice in the back of his mind kept reminding him), as vaguely as he could.

“I think I’ve said ‘thank you’ about a million different ways, there’s only so many ways I could say it. Um, but typically it’s good to end a set on a hit, a song that people really wanna hear, but we’re gonna break that, we’re gonna actually do a little faux pa and end it on a new song. I tend to like fairytales, they’re fantastic, I freak out when there’s a caterpillar on my keyboard, as there was last night, I freak out at the little things, at the magical things, it’s the little kind of things that are special in life. I tend to fantasize and romanticize the beginnings of things, the sort of origin stories, the once upon a times, and for me, I was very blessed with a beautiful family that is here tonight, and are very supportive of what I want to do, and uh, I often think about that and how I miss that time in my life, when it wasn’t about this, when there was nobody at Roseland, when there was nobody coming to say what’s up on tour, and then I go oh my god, people are coming to see this show, this is extraordinary, and this song is about missing your past, but being really cool with your present, and you guys have made my present one hell of a good one and for that I have to thank you with all of my heart, and I want to thank you for coming out here tonight, and I hope you had fun. And this song’s called Once Upon A Time.”

“ _"The end" never seemed like it was good enough_

_Two little words seemed too small_

_I turned the page to find a blank one_

_As if the ones before never really happened at all_

_But what about the love, what about the old obsessions_

_We fell into when they were new?_

_What about the late at night heartfelt confessions?_

_The things we tried, the tears we cried_

_Well they seem to hide away_

_I got one more part for the storybook_

_One more road that I should've took_

_One more thing that used to have my heart_

_I got one more place in my memory_

_Where I wish with every part of me_

_I could go back, go back to the start_

_I know it's too far down_

_And much too high to climb_

_But why can't we bring it on back to once upon a time?_

_Here we are, standing at the finish line_

_And I swear it's like we came a million miles_

_And if I take one more step I will forget the rivers we've crossed_

_Our happy ending will be lost if we say goodbye_

_What about the way our fable wasn't fiction?_

_It was real to you, it was real to me_

_So maybe our love was a lovely contradiction_

_We were never sure of what we were but we knew we could never be_

_And now I got one more part for the storybook_

_One more road that I should've took_

_One more thing that used to have my heart_

_I got one more place in my memory_

_Where I wish with every part of me_

_I could go back, go back to the start_

_But I know it's too far down_

_And much too high to climb_

_I just wish we could bring it on back to once upon a time._ ”

Darren didn’t even think about the changes to the lyrics until he paused to breathe. They weren’t the words he had sung any of the other shows, but they’re exactly what he was feeling at that moment, exactly what he wanted Chris to hear. He grinned as he throws himself back into the song.

“ _But what about the way our fable wasn't fiction?_

_It was real to you, it was real to me_

_So what about the ups and downs and all the lessons?_

_The things we learned, the stones we turned, well, that bridge has burned away_

_And now it's just one more part for the storybook_

_One more road that I should've took_

_One more thing that used to have my heart_

_Yeah, I know it's too far down_

_And much too high to climb_

_Oh, I just wish we could bring it on back to that once upon a time_

_Na na na na na na na na na_

_Na na na na na_

_Na na na na na na na na na_

_Na na na na na na na na na_

_Na na na na na_

_Na na na na na na na na na_

_Na na na na na na na na na_

_Na na na na na_

_Na na na na na na na na na_

_Na na na na na na na na na_

_Na na na na na_

_Na na na na na na na na na_

_Na na na na na na na na na_

_Na na na na na_

_Na na na na na na na na na_

_Na na na na na na na na na_

_Na na na na na_

_Na na na na na na na na na_

_Back to the start, back to your heart_

_To that once upon a time_

_I know it's too far down_

_And much too high to climb_

_I just wish we could bring it on back to that once upon a time._ ”

*

Chris nearly started crying as Darren gave his speech.

He understood what he had meant about missing the beginning of something, missing the way it had all began, before there were so many people watching every single move either of them made.

But at the same time, it was so, so fantastic, having so many people looking up to them and loving them as much as they did.

It was bittersweet in a way, but Chris agreed with Darren, it was one hell of a present.

And then Darren had started singing, making Chris teary again. It was for him, he knew it from the lyrics and the way Darren threw himself into performing the song.

By the time Darren was leading the crowd in the chorus of ‘na na na na na’s, Chris had made up his mind.

*

Darren was always exhausted after every show.

No matter how much he loved it, the meet and greet and then actually performing for the packed arenas, it always took so much out of him.

After most shows, Darren usually had to go take a nap in his dressing room before he got on the bus to go to the next location.

But this time was different.

There was somebody in his dressing room when he got there, somebody wearing a dark blue hoodie that looked well-worn and so familiar (because it was his, he knew it was from the small tear in the lower left hem) with a pair of jeans. Darren could tell that their bangs were flopping over their eyes, like it only was when they were alone.

That somebody turned when the door shut behind Darren, and he could see now just how tired he looked (just as tired as Darren felt, and it made his heart ache).

He wanted to wrap Chris up in a blanket, tug him down onto the little couch in the room and make him sleep, for as long as it would take to make those shadows under his eyes go away.

They stared at each other for the longest time, until Darren couldn’t handle the silence anymore and had to say _something_.

“I-What are you doing here?” he asked, hearing his own voice shake.

Chris shrugged, biting his lip before admitting, “Ashley. I didn’t know if I should but she-she told me I should. Gave me a whole _list_ of reasons to.”

“Oh really?” Darren asked, his voice cracking again.

Chris nodded. “You were-you were good out there.”

“Thank-thank you.”

“I-um. I really loved _Once Upon a Time_.” Chris stammered out, and Darren felt his heart swell with joy.

“I wrote it for you.” Darren admitted, his voice barely a whisper.

Chris blinked. “I thought so.”

“I’m sorry.” Darren blurted, suddenly. “I am so, so sorry, and I never wanted to hurt you, and I-”

“Darren, please be quiet.” Chris interrupted. “First, I-I want to tell you something. Something that I-I realized a long, long time ago, but was to stubborn to actually acknowledge.”

“And what is that?” Darren asked, unable to just stay silent.

“That I love you.” Chris said, and suddenly Darren, for once in his life, couldn’t think. “I’ve always loved you. But-but I was too stubborn, and too set on the fact that you were my soulmate and the fact that I’ve never wanted a soulmate, but then there you were and I didn’t even realize I was falling for you. And then-and then this summer happened and I-I was jealous, that’s why I freaked out so much about her being there, I was jealous and also a little scared at how I was feeling, and-and then I was talking to Ashley and she flat-out told me what I should’ve already figured out and-and Darren, I may never have _wanted_ a soulmate, but-but I realized that I need you.”

Darren’s staring, he knows he is, but that’s literally the only thought in his head and he knows he’s got to do something, anything to let Chris know that he loves him too, has always loved him, ever since they had met years ago, but he can’t get his mouth to move or his voice to work and-

“Darren?” Chris asked, his voice sounding small and afraid to Darren’s ears, snapping him out of his thoughts.

“I-fuck.” Darren heard himself say, and then he was laughing, loud and giddy, and Chris was the one staring, looking at Darren like he was some sort of maniac, which he realized he kind of was acting like one. He started grasping for words, gasping them out between his giggles.

“I-Chris, I-I love you too. I have, since the moment-since the moment we met, and-fuck, I’ve waited so long to hear you see those words.”

Chris’s scared confused look quickly morphed into a smile, just as puzzled, but still a smile.

Darren would start to explain more, he wanted to and he should, but goddamn, it had been a very, very long summer, and he was so, so exhausted.

There would be time later to talk, but for now…

“Come on.” Darren grinned, holding out his hand and tugging Chris over to the couch when he took it. “We both could probably use a nap right about now.”

*

Darren could feel the sweat dripping down his back, but he ignored it in favor of pulling Chris a little closer, grinning when Chris made a quiet, surprised noise against his lips.

“Cut!” someone yelled nearby, and Darren pulled away with a grin, looking at Chris through the tinted lenses of his yellow sunglasses.

“That was a good one.” he remarked, his grin getting bigger as Chris rolled his eyes from behind his own sunglasses.

“I know I was good.” Chris said, a teasing note to his voice as he patted Darren’s shoulder. “And I guess you weren’t bad as well.”

Darren let out a laugh, skipping down off the table and following Chris back to where they started at the picnic blanket.

“Hey, Chris?” Darren hummed, handing off his sunglasses to one of the extras.

“Yeah?”

He wanted to say, ‘I love you’, or something similar, one of those little phrases that he hadn’t yet got tired of saying.

But there were too many extras around, too many eavesdropping Gleeks who attended school where they were filming.

They had talked about it. Chris wasn’t ready to tell anyone about anything going on in his personal life; he had never been comfortable doing so, even after years and years of being in the public eye.

Darren understood where he was coming from; he had never been all that comfortable with it either. They would be okay as they were, with only their closest friends and relatives knowing about them.

It would take some work, all relationships did.

But Darren had faith that they would last. They were soulmates, after all.

And maybe…

“ _I got to get you into my life._ ” Darren sung.

“ _I was alone, I took a ride._ ” Chris sung back, smiling warmly at him.

Maybe Chris believed they would last, too.

 


End file.
